Relationships take constant nurturing to keep them healthy and strong. Here are 5 things you can do to reconnect with each other and fall in love all over again.
Plan a date night once a week and alternate who decides what you are going to do. The aim is to do something you think your partner would enjoy doing, not something you want to do. Don’t tell your partner what you have planned until the last minute; revealing the surprise is half the fun! Your dates don’t have to be expensive or extravagant. For example, you could go for a walk on the beach or have a picnic in the park. It doesn’t really matter what you do, as long as you spend time together without your phone, your kids, or any other distractions; just like you did when you were first dating!
There are five different ways people like to give and receive love – words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch. Once you know your partner’s love language, it becomes much easier to show your love in the way that will make them feel loved. It is likely to be very different to what makes you feel loved! If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, tell them you love them regularly, write love notes to them and send them text messages telling them how beautiful and amazing they are. If your partner’s love language is acts of service, make them breakfast in bed, clean the house or take the kids out so they can relax. If their love language is receiving gifts, give them lots of presents. If it’s quality time, make sure you get lots of alone time together and give them your undivided attention. If their love language is physical touch, hold their hand, stroke their hair and give them massages.
Sometimes we get so caught up in our routine, or the thoughts in our head, that we forget to find out how our partner is feeling. The communication you receive from your partner is a reflection of the quality of your communication to them. If a question such as “How was your day?” doesn’t get much response, ask a specific, thought provoking question and you’ll be amazed at what you’ll find out! You may like to ask if your partner is currently interested in something new and wants to explore it more during their free time. (This will also help you get ideas for date night!)
Not resolving small issues between you and your partner have can cause bigger challenges later on. Work through your challenges together when you both are calm. The higher your emotions, the lower your intelligence, so attempting to fix a challenge when you are feeling angry or frustrated won’t work. If you realise you have made a mistake or spoken harshly to your partner, admit it and apologise. If you find yourself arguing, stop, take a deep breath and choose your relationship over the need to be right. What’s more important, having a great relationship or being right?
If something your partner had said or done is bothering you, talk to them about your concerns. It’s better to voice your worries instead of bottling them up. Most of the time, our worries are just illusions in our heads that we create! Let them know how you feel in a loving and compassionate way. Start by saying, “What I feel like saying is…” and describe how you are feeling, rather than blaming your partner or complaining. Stay calm, your tone of voice and body language tells your partner more than your words do.
If you’d like some help to reignite the spark in your relationship and fall in love with your partner all over again, click here to find out more.